You Don’t Need to Do It Like Them
The fastest way to lose your momentum is to try to follow someone else’s map
When I was thinking about leaving my old career as a game developer, I waited way too long to make the jump.
I knew for years that I was checked out. I could still do the work, but the passion was long gone. Even when the projects were big, they didn’t feel bold anymore—just familiar and recycled.
The industry felt stuck, and I was stuck in it.
But every time I thought about making a change, it felt like I was too far into life to start over.
Everyone I saw doing what I actually wanted to do was so much further along and way more established in their spaces. They’d already built the things I was still only exploring.
And I let that get to me. I stalled on my efforts.
Not because I ever doubted the direction I was being pulled towards—but because I doubted the timing. Comparison convinced me I was too late.
That’s the trap.
You start moving on something new—maybe rough, maybe messy—but it’s yours. And it’s exciting. Then you look around… and someone else is ahead of you. They’re moving faster and doing more. They’re just crushing it—or at least making it look that way.
So you adjust and try to match their rhythm. At first, it feels like fuel. Like you’re doing things ‘the right way’ now by keeping up with them.
But over time, your own path stops making sense. And that exciting pull for something new you were following? You can’t hear it anymore. Instead, you’re just scrambling to keep up with everyone else.
That’s the cost of comparison.
It destroys your clarity. It makes you question your pace and doubt your progress, even when everything is working smoothly.
This isn’t about ignoring other people. It’s about refusing to outsource your clarity to them.
Because clarity only sticks if it comes from you.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
Define Your Own Finish Line
If you don’t set your own finish line, you’ll spend your whole life chasing someone else’s dreams.
That’s the hard part about comparison—it’s sneaky. You don’t always realize you’re doing it.
You start following advice that was never meant for your priorities. You take on goals that look impressive but don’t actually excite you. You build habits to match someone else’s lifestyle, not your own. You adopt training schedules that don’t fit your body. You burn time on routines that work for others’ lives, not yours.
And slowly, your own reasons for living get buried.
This shows up everywhere. You train for a race you don’t care about. You go after a job title that doesn’t actually pay more. You say yes to a certification because someone else did. You chase a business goal that doesn’t even match your values.
And then when it doesn’t feel good, you assume it’s your fault—because it’s working for others.
But your path isn’t supposed to look like theirs.
You have your own rhythm to the life you’ve built, full of unique responsibilities and behaviors. You have to juggle your own energy patterns and balance them with your real-world limits. So your version of success needs to reflect that.
You don’t owe anyone the same timeline, same goals, or same reasons for what you pursue in life. What you owe yourself is:
A constructed life you actually want to show up for.
A sense of clarity that holds up when things get messy.
A finish line that means something to you.
Because no matter how fast you’re moving, if the goal isn’t yours, the win won’t mean anything.
The Trap of Trying to Keep Up
Somewhere along the way, we were taught to start treating life like a leaderboard.
For most of us, it probably started at home, getting compared to siblings or friends without even realizing it. Then came school with test scores and class ranks, adding more hierarchy to your life. Even sports that were once just fun play evolved into competitions—who made the teams and had "potential." Then came college admissions. Job applications. Carrer choices. Relationships. Money. Smart monitors. Followers. One more measurement after another.
At every stage, we’ve been given new ways to measure whether we were ahead (or already falling behind).
And somewhere in all that noise, we stopped asking what we actually wanted.
We just started trying to keep up.
And that mindset sticks.
Even now, when we see someone doing more, it’s easy to question if we’re doing enough. We stop checking in with what fits, and start measuring ourselves against people who aren’t even headed in the same direction.
And when we don’t match their pace, it feels like failure, even when our path is completely different.
That’s why it’s so hard to pull back or change direction sometimes. It feels like losing even when it’s exactly what we need for ourself.
Just because someone’s further along doesn’t mean they’re going where you want to go.
You’re not behind. You’re building something different.
Follow a Path That Actually Fits
It usually feels safer to follow the crowd. To copy what’s already been proven and stay close to what seems to be working for everyone else.
But if the path doesn’t fit you, it doesn’t matter how efficient it looks—it’ll still take you somewhere you don’t actually want to be and burn up energy you don’t actually have.
Effort sticks better when it feels connected to you. That’s why real progress comes from something that feels like yours—not something that just looks good on paper.
When you stop chasing what everyone else is doing, you free up energy to go after what matters to you.
You stop editing yourself to match someone else’s pace. You start making choices based on your own goals.
Some wins will come faster. Some will take longer. But they’ll feel like steps that count—because they’re yours.
This isn’t about doing things the easy way. It’s about staying in the game longer by playing it your way—without burning out or bailing every time life changes.
Instead of just going through the motions, you’re making moves that mean something.
You’re no longer hustling to keep up—you’re showing up in ways that actually support where you want to go. It won’t always be clean or easy. But it will feel more connected.
Because when you’re not just checking boxes, you can build something that lasts.
Something clear that actually fits you.
Something that’s yours.
You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You don’t need to match their numbers, pace, titles, timelines, or wins.
That’s not your job.
Your job is to stay connected to what matters to you. To keep following that exciting pull toward the life you actually want—that’s uniquely yours.
Because that’s how you build something sustainable. Not by competing for a spot on some imagined scoreboard, but by investing in a path that reflects your values and reality.
So what would it look like to stop chasing what’s working for others—and finally go all in on what’s actually working for you?
Stop chasing their pace and start claiming your own. Book your FREE discovery call.