Rest Is a Skill
Recovery isn’t what you do instead of progressing—it’s how you progress
We’re not set up to rest well in modern times.
Even when we stop working, we don’t really recover anymore. Our minds keep spinning. Our phones keep buzzing. We “take breaks” by scrolling, bingeing content, stressing, and checking in on something else that feels important.
But we never fully let go.
And without real rest, there’s no real reset. That’s one reason stress levels keep climbing in society—even when we think we’re taking time off.
That really caught up with me when I was still making video games as a designer. I loved the work—but the work never stopped.
I kept getting asked to do the impossible. Work more hours. Fix more problems. Meet one more deadline. Taking a break didn’t feel doable. And even when I wasn’t on the clock, I was still in it—thinking about what was next, what needed fixing, or what I might’ve missed.
I never gave myself permission to recover. And eventually, it drained the fun out of the thing I used to love.
That’s the trap a lot of us fall into. We think rest means we’re slacking or that stepping back will set us behind. But the truth is, you don’t grow stronger during the work—you grow stronger during the recovery.
Rest isn’t the absence of progress. It’s where the progress actually happens.
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.” — Anne Lamott
Why We Resist Rest
We’re not just bad at resting anymore—we actively fight it.
Even when we know it’s important, something in our brain pushes back. We resist. We guilt ourselves. We keep going—even when our tank’s clearly empty.
That’s not just habit. That’s conditioning.
It starts early—and it’s everywhere. We’re surrounded by messages that link worth to output, discipline to exhaustion, and rest to weakness.
You hear it in school: “If you really cared about your future, you’d be studying right now.” (As if your worth is measured by how much you sacrifice)
You hear it in jobs: “We all have to make sacrifices right now.” (Said while handing you extra work and acting like “no” means you’re not a team player)
You even hear it in sports and fitness: “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” (As if ignoring pain makes you stronger—instead of addressing an injury)
It shows up in the way we praise burnout and normalize exhaustion. The people who skip lunch, answer emails at midnight, or “never stop moving” are treated like heroes. The ones who slow down? Like they’re falling behind.
Over time, we’ve built up some heavy baggage around what it means to take a break. And it shows up in a bunch of sneaky ways:
“Rest is lazy.” If you’re not actively doing something, you’re slacking. You’re soft. You’re wasting time.
“You don’t deserve a break until you’re exhausted.” Recovery becomes something to earn—only after you’ve hit the wall.
“If you slow down, you’ll fall behind.” There’s always more to do. More to prove. More pressure waiting when you stop.
“Taking time off means losing your edge.” You finally start building momentum—then fear creeps in that one pause will ruin it.
“Other people aren’t resting, so why should I?” We compare our output, not our health. And the hustle culture wins.
The result? We ignore the signals. We override the system. We tell ourselves to push just a little harder—even with diminishing returns—until eventually the only rest we get is the kind that’s forced on us when we crash out.
But here’s the truth: Rest isn’t the opposite of discipline. It’s part of it.
If you want to show up strong tomorrow, you have to know how to stop today.
What Recovery Really Does
Recovery isn’t just about feeling better—it’s where your progress actually happens.
Every time you challenge your system—physically, mentally, or emotionally—you create stress. That’s not a bad thing. Stress is what triggers growth. But growth only happens if you give your system time and space to adapt.
That’s what recovery is for: rebuilding tissue, restoring energy, rebalancing your nervous system, and locking in the gains you’ve worked for.
Physical recovery repairs muscle damage, restores glycogen, and resets your body’s ability to perform.
Mental recovery restores focus and sharpens decision-making.
Emotional recovery helps reset your stress baseline and reconnect with motivation.
Even short resets—like real sleep, stillness, or unplugged time—let your body and mind actually recalibrate.
But here’s what most people miss: recovery isn’t passive. It’s not just the absence of work.
Scrolling, bingeing, or numbing out removes us from work, but doesn’t restore anything—it just delays the crash and often adds more stress.
Real recovery is active. It’s a skill.
It means setting boundaries. Stepping away on purpose. Building rest into your rhythm before you break, not after.
When you do that, everything works better.
You bounce back faster. You stay consistent longer. You break the cycle of overreach, burnout, and rebound guilt.
Because recovery isn’t what happens when you're done—it’s what lets you keep going.
The work breaks you down. The rest builds you back stronger.
How to Build Rest Into Your System
Most people treat recovery like a gap in the calendar.
They leave space by not scheduling something—but without a plan for how to actually use that time, it usually gets filled with more work, more chores, or more stress.
You say you're going to rest… and suddenly you’re:
Catching up on emails you swore could wait
Tidying the house instead of taking a break
“Just checking one thing” that turns into two hours of rabbit holes
Rerunning tomorrow’s schedule in your head trying to cram more in
Doom-scrolling until you feel more wired than when you started
That’s not recovery. That’s unstructured exhaustion.
If you want real rest and recovery, you have to be intentional about it. That means giving it the same kind of planning, clarity, and respect you’d give a key workout or a critical deadline.
At first, it’s hard to pull away. You feel like stepping back will cost you progress, or leave something undone. But the more you practice it, the more you realize: nothing falls apart when you rest. In fact, you come back sharper, steadier, and more ready to push when it counts.
Here’s what that might look like in real life:
Schedule short recovery windows throughout the week—15 to 30 minutes of walking, stretching, napping, or unplugged stillness. This gives your nervous system a chance to settle and helps you bounce back faster between stress spikes.
Create a wind-down ritual before bed—a repeatable habit that tells your body the day is over. Not screen time. Not last-minute tasks. A few minutes of reading, dim lights, or breathing work go a long way to improve sleep quality.
Protect at least one day a week with zero productivity expectations. No errands. No catch-up. No guilt. Go outside. Laugh with someone. Do something pointless and fun. Be a human—not just a productivity machine.
Make rest visible on your calendar. If you don’t block it out, something else will fill the space. Giving it a name and a spot on the schedule makes it real—and easier to protect.
When rest becomes part of your rhythm, it stops being a reactive fix and starts becoming a proactive skill.
You don’t need to wait until you’re wrecked to take a break. You can build rest in now—and come back stronger before you ever fall apart.
Recovery isn’t the opposite of progress. It’s what allows progress to keep going.
It’s not lazy, soft, or wasted time. It’s the smartest move you can make when you care about showing up strong—day after day, season after season.
So if everything feels heavy lately, maybe it’s not about pushing harder. Maybe it’s time to rest better.
Where could more intentional recovery make everything else work better?