Quit Measuring Your Life With Someone Else’s Tape
Stop chasing other people’s milestones—and start choosing your own direction.
For a long time, I let comparison steal my wins.
School was a game of test scores and class rankings. Work was a race to hit metrics, earn recognition, and compete for limited roles. If someone else got the spotlight, the promotion, the nod—I didn’t just feel behind. I felt smaller. Like their success made mine count for less.
That mindset bled into everything. I wasn’t just trying to grow—I was trying to prove I wasn’t falling behind. I’ve had seasons where I felt proud of my progress—until I saw someone else doing more. I’ve hit goals that felt strong—until I looked sideways. Suddenly, it didn’t matter how far I’d come. Because I was measuring it against someone else’s tape.
You’ve probably felt it, too.
You scroll through your feed and feel the tug. Someone’s launching a business. Buying a house. Hitting another race PR. Posting their morning run, their perfect routine, their next big milestone.
Even if things are going great for you, something shifts. You suddenly feel behind. Like you missed a step somewhere. Like you should be further along by now in some part of your life.
That’s the trap of comparison—it doesn’t just slow you down. It clouds your priorities. It makes you chase someone else’s target instead of your own.
This is about getting out of that spiral. Not by tuning the world out—but by turning your focus inward. Back to your pace. Your path. Your priorities.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
The Trap of Invisible Scoreboards
Most of the people you compare yourself to aren’t even playing the same game.
But comparison doesn’t care. It tricks you into thinking everyone’s progress belongs on the same scoreboard—and if they’re ahead, then you must be behind.
The problem? You don’t know their starting point. You don’t know their resources, their goals, their support system. You don’t know what they’re giving up to move that fast, or what it’s costing them behind the scenes.
But still, you feel it.
Someone’s faster. Someone’s leaner. Someone’s signing clients, hitting big numbers, juggling a packed calendar without flinching. And even if you’re proud of what you’re building, when you see other’s success, a part of you starts to wonder—am I doing enough?
That’s the trick.
Sometimes comparison points you toward something meaningful to help you level up. But most of the time, it pulls you off course. It disconnects you from where you are—and drops you onto someone else’s path without asking if that’s even where you want to go.
And it doesn’t show up like envy. It shows up like pressure. Like guilt. Like vague dissatisfaction that’s hard to name but easy to feel. Because if you’re behind, the story becomes: you must not care enough. You’re not trying hard enough. Or there’s something wrong with you.
And the longer you keep looking sideways, the harder it gets to move forward with clarity.
Because now, you’re not just chasing your goals. You’re chasing someone else’s definition of what “enough” looks like.
Your Goals, Your Timing, Your Reasons
It’s easy to forget: you get to define what progress means. Not your coach. Not your friends. Not your social feed. You.
Most of the pressure we feel from comparison doesn’t come from someone actually telling us we’re behind. It comes from losing track of what we’re really working toward—and why it matters to us in the first place.
Are you training for a PR? Or to feel better in your body?
Are you building a business? Or protecting space for your family?
Are you in a season of growth? Or a season of recovery?
Each of those is valid. But the way you move, train, plan, and show up should reflect the season you’re in—not someone else’s highlight reel.
And your timing? That’s allowed to look wildly different, too. Some people find their stride at 20. Others restart everything at 40. Some have a decade of momentum behind them. Others are just lacing up for day one.
Your journey isn’t behind. It’s just yours.
What matters isn’t just how fast you’re moving—but whether you’re headed in a direction that actually fits your life. That’s what comparison blurs. It makes you forget that both your path and your pace need to match your reality—not someone else’s.
Maybe this is your season to push hard and go all in. Maybe it’s your season to slow down, rebuild, and make sure the foundation holds. Maybe you’re juggling work, kids, aging parents—and one hour of focused effort a day is actually a win.
You don’t have to match someone else’s timeline to be on track. You don’t have to move fast to be making progress. You just have to move with clarity—and keep choosing your own direction.
So ask yourself honestly: What are you actually trying to build right now? Why does it matter to you?
When the path is yours, comparison starts to lose its grip. You stop chasing what looks impressive. And start building what actually matters.
Reclaim Your Scoreboard
You can’t win a game you don’t understand. And comparison tricks you into playing one you never signed up for.
It tells you your progress only counts if it looks like theirs. That your pace is only valid if it keeps up. That your life should be further along—because of how far others have gone.
But their scoreboard isn’t yours.
You don’t know what they’ve sacrificed. What they’ve inherited. What they’re chasing—or what they’re running from. And even if you did, it wouldn’t change the truth: you’re building something different. You’re telling a different story.
Your story.
And that’s not a liability. That’s your power. Because the more you try to copy someone else’s path, the more disconnected you become from your own. You start living a version of life that looks good from the outside—but doesn’t feel like you on the inside.
Progress isn’t about speed. Or likes. Or external milestones. It’s about alignment. Intention. Integrity.
Are you living in a way that reflects what matters to you? Are you making choices that support the kind of life you actually want? Are you proud of the story you’re writing right now?
You don’t need someone else’s permission to move at your own pace. You don’t need someone else’s plan to build something great. And you definitely don’t need someone else’s timeline to tell you if you’re doing it right.
You are the only person who can walk your path. The only one who can live your story.
So own it. Honor it. And build it like it actually matters.
Because it does.
I used to think progress was about catching up. Moving faster. Closing the gap between me and whoever I thought was ahead. But that never left me feeling better. It just made me more disconnected from what I actually wanted.
Now, I measure progress differently. Not by how I stack up—but by how aligned I feel. Whether the way I’m living actually reflects what matters to me.
That’s the shift. Not tuning everything out—but tuning in. Choosing your own pace. Your own direction. And having the courage to measure it on your own terms—even when it doesn’t “look impressive” from the outside.
So here’s the question to take with you:
What’s one thing you could stop measuring by someone else’s tape—and start owning for yourself today?
Not perfect. Not flashy. Just real. Just yours.